Sunday, September 25, 2011

How to choose your mate?

It is only relatively recently that individuals started to choose their own mates in the civilizations of the world, whether in the West or the East! Nowadays, most educated people have the privilege to  make at least part of the decision on the choice of their mates. In the West, most people gained this right about one hundred years ago. In China, some started to make their own decision in my parents' generation. Most of that generation, however, made their choice only after their parents had made the initial arrangement. So how does one make the choice? If everyone considers this to be one of the most important decisions in one's life, how come we never teach our children how to do it!
Let me suggest a few things you need to think about: (not that I knew them before I met Janice. I learned from her and I know now what I did not know then.)
1) Observe what personality matched up with yours.
2) Make a note on the faults you have, and learn how to minimize them.
3) Know what aspects you like in a person, and how to recognize them!
4) Learn to be patient, and more patient!
5) Hope that you are lucky, very lucky, and very, very lucky!

On a related note, when I grew up, the subject of sex never came up; or perhaps I should say that my parents tried to avoid it as much as possible. The textbook chapters on health and sex were totally ignored or had their pages sealed in the library copies. We learned quickly that this was a forbidden subject. How could such an important part of everyone's life be so much a subject of avoidance. What kind of civilization is this? We were so much entrenched in this culture, we cannot even talk about the subject even today, because we never learned how to do it.

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